WrestleMania 40 just got punk’d—literally. CM Punk, the notorious straight-edge superstar with a wit sharper than the edges of the WWE Championship belt, has declared he’ll be sliding into the commentary booth as the special guest voice for the Seth Rollins vs. Drew McIntyre World Heavyweight Championship match. Brace yourselves for a night where the commentary might just outshine the bodyslams.

During a WWE Raw episode that felt more like a Punk rock concert in Chicago, CM Punk made the bombshell announcement, somehow managing to both charm and roast the crowd, Seth Rollins, and Drew McIntyre—all in a day’s work for Punk. The segment, which lasted over 22 minutes, felt less like a wrestling setup and more like a masterclass in how to be effortlessly cool (and mildly infuriating) by Punk.

In a display of verbal gymnastics that had everything from teasing WrestleMania hosting gigs, pretending to be the guest referee, to making jabs at McIntyre’s fashion choices (because who doesn’t love a good “lifts in [his boots]” burn?), Punk ran the gamut. He even name-dropped Jim Cornette and The Rock, because why not stir up as many pots as possible before declaring his intention to sprinkle a little of his signature Punk spice on the Rollins vs. McIntyre match commentary.

Seth “The Architect” Rollins is set to defend his bling against Drew “The Scottish Psychopath” McIntyre on Sunday, April 7th, in a match that now promises to be as much about the action outside the ring as it is inside, thanks to Punk’s promised commentary antics. McIntyre snagged his title shot in a display of sheer brutality in last month’s Elimination Chamber match down under in Perth, proving once again that Australia is not just about kangaroos and Vegemite.

Punk’s journey to the WrestleMania booth hasn’t been without its bumps, bruises, and a torn right triceps courtesy of the Royal Rumble in January. But, ever the phoenix rising from Arizona (or Chicago, in this case), Punk is set to bring his unique blend of sarcasm, insight, and possibly a few too many energy drinks to WrestleMania’s night two, turning what was already set to be a blockbuster into an absolute must-see, must-hear event.

By Joseph Gallery

I like ice cream, taking a back seat, wondering who I am, and pretending kayfabe is real. May or may not be the Real Dark Brandon. For the LOLZ. MALARKEY!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *