Folks, let me tell you, this is a story that tugs at the heartstrings, no doubt about it. Cash Wheeler, former AEW Tag Team Champion and a man of great skill, was nearly ready to pack up his boots, hang ‘em up, and go off to live the ultimate off-the-grid fantasy. That’s right. No more wrestling, no more FTR, just Cash Wheeler, a log cabin, and a lot of quiet. It’s like he was auditioning to be the next star of a survival show, folks. Truly a man of many talents.

Now, Wheeler’s troubles started back in August 2023, when he got himself into a little road rage pickle down in Florida — where else? Orange County, to be exact. He was arrested and charged with aggravated assault with a firearm. Sounds serious, right? Well, it was, but the prosecution eventually decided not to pursue the case. Let me tell you, if I could wiggle out of trouble like that, I’d be wiggling all the time!

During that time, Wheeler was not only dealing with legal drama but was also contemplating calling it quits. Yes, folks, the man was ready to retire, and not in the “I’m going to do yoga and drink green juice” way. He wanted to vanish into the woods like some kind of muscular Sasquatch. His partner, Dax Harwood, let this little bombshell drop on “AEW Close-Up” with Renee Paquette. According to Harwood, Wheeler wanted to protect his best buddy from the backlash of social media, specifically the infamous cesspool we all know and love—Twitter.

Harwood recalled, “He knew there was backlash on Twitter because Twitter’s the cesspool of all social media. He said, ‘I’m just going to retire, and you don’t have to worry.'” Wow. That’s what we call a ride-or-die friend, folks—willing to retire just so his tag team partner wouldn’t have to read mean tweets. Truly touching!

But it didn’t end there. Apparently, Wheeler was ready to retreat to his little cabin in the woods, perhaps to start a collection of flannel shirts and work on a beard that would make a lumberjack cry. Fortunately, after some deep conversations and probably a couple of what-are-we-doing-with-our-lives moments, FTR decided their story wouldn’t end in 2023. And thank goodness for that!

Now, can you imagine showing up to work every day, knowing it might be your last? Wheeler admitted it was tough, saying, “I didn’t love it… But at the same time it was the only chance I really had to escape from that.” Can’t blame him. Wrestling was his escape, like some people turn to karaoke or cross-stitching, except with a lot more suplexes and sweat.

Harwood, ever the voice of reason, said he was terrified that FTR might just evaporate, like a dream after too much pizza. But they stuck it out, and the moment they knew everything was going to be okay? Their match with The Young Bucks at AEW All In 2023—just days after Wheeler posted bail. Talk about cutting it close! Harwood expected the fans to turn on them, but instead, they were showered with love, like a crowd that just found out the concession stands have free nachos.

As for Wheeler? He didn’t let the backstage whispers bother him because deep down, he knew he was innocent. Can’t argue with that level of zen, folks. He was as cool as a cucumber in a snowstorm.

By Joseph Gallery

I like ice cream, taking a back seat, wondering who I am, and pretending kayfabe is real. May or may not be the Real Dark Brandon. For the LOLZ. MALARKEY!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *