Folks, we need to talk about CM Punk. Legendary guy, tremendous wrestler—some say the best ever. He’s got a lot of fans, wonderful people, they love him. But now, it seems they love him too much. I mean, we’ve got people stalking the man at the airport like it’s Black Friday at the mall and Punk’s the last flat-screen TV.
Here’s what happened. On Instagram, Punk—always been great on social media, by the way, very relatable—posted a message to his fans, which went something like this: “Love you guys, but please, for the love of all things holy, stop following me around the airport.” He said it much more politely than I would’ve, folks. But he’s got patience, tremendous patience.
He explained that airports, last I checked, aren’t some exclusive CM Punk meet-and-greet. Who knew, right? Apparently, fans didn’t get the memo. And here’s the kicker: Some people are bringing their kids, using them as little autograph-seeking shields! You know what I say? Leave the kids out of it, folks. They’ve got enough problems with school lunches these days—now they’re chasing CM Punk around like he’s Santa Claus at the mall? Ridiculous.
But this isn’t Punk’s first rodeo. Back in 2014, he told a tale about fans trailing him like lost puppies, probably thinking he was handing out free WWE merch. And let’s not forget the iconic “Pipebomb” promo in 2011, where he roasted people for hitting him up for autographs while he’s trying to catch a flight. A true visionary, folks—he saw it all coming.
And now, just as Punk’s making his grand return to WWE Raw in Portland, fresh off getting clobbered by Drew McIntyre two weeks ago—by the way, terrible, just terrible—the guy has to fend off autograph hunters while trying to survive TSA. Talk about a rough day at work. But tonight, he’s back, and it’s only going to heat up as we head towards Hell in a Cell at WWE Bad Blood on October 5. It’s going to be huge, folks. CM Punk versus Drew McIntyre, steel cage, no autographs.