Folks, brace yourselves! In a SmackDown season premiere so wild it could’ve been scripted by Shakespeare (if Shakespeare also loved body slams and steel cages), Cody Rhodes retained his Undisputed WWE Championship against Solo Sikoa—but that was just the appetizer. After an intense battle that saw Cody busted open, walls climbed, and heads landing harder than my approval ratings after a debate, the real fireworks came when the Bloodline made their move.
Sikoa and Rhodes went at it in that steel cage like they were fighting for the last slice of pizza in catering. Rhodes’ head? Yeah, it met the back of that steel like it owed him money, courtesy of a Brainbuster that looked as accidental as a “Best Wrestler of 2024” award for Otis. From Cody Cutters to Spinning Solos, both guys tried every signature move in the book. Rhodes, being the showman that he is, climbed the cage like he was auditioning for American Ninja Warrior only to hit Sikoa with a flying press instead of making a dramatic exit. Can’t say the man lacks flair—just maybe some judgment.
When it looked like Rhodes had the win wrapped up, in true WWE fashion, the Bloodline scaled that cage like overly aggressive Spider-Men. Solo Sikoa ordered his cousin to deliver some cage-top acrobatics when… you guessed it, the big man Roman Reigns’ music hit, and suddenly the Tribal Chief was in the building. Reigns took his sweet time strolling down to the ring, because why rush when you know you own the place?
Reigns and Sikoa locked eyes, but it was more of a ‘family squabble’ moment than a staredown. After some Samoan Spike near-misses and a Superman Punch that might’ve knocked Sikoa back to next Friday, Reigns took the upper hand. But before you could say “Bloodline Drama,” the family regrouped, and it was absolute carnage from there.
Rhodes, being the resilient showman we all know him to be, popped back up like he just heard there’s a title defense clause in his contract, and started throwing hands again. The big finale? Reigns and Rhodes took out the rest of the Bloodline, leaving fans wondering: is this a new, highly dysfunctional super team in the making?
As the crowd roared, Rhodes and Reigns stared each other down like two action figures placed on opposite sides of a toy ring by an overly caffeinated six-year-old. The ulafala went back around Sikoa’s neck courtesy of Fatu, and just like that, this unforgettable SmackDown opener ended in total chaos.