Alright, folks, gather ’round because I’ve got the inside scoop on WrestleMania 40, straight from the wrestling oracle himself, Dave Meltzer of the “Wrestling Observer Newsletter.” Now, keep in mind, like trying to nail jelly to a tree, wrestling plans can be slippery and subject to change. But as of “last week,” we’ve got a tentative lineup that’s juicier than a peach in August.
Night 1’s shaping up like a potluck dinner where everyone brought their A-game. We’re talking Becky Lynch and Rhea Ripley throwing down for the WWE Women’s World Championship, and folks, this one’s got the makings of a barn burner.
Then, we’ve got a Six-Pack Ladder Match that’s more crowded than my cousin’s wedding. The Awesome Truth, The New Day, A-Town Down Under, New Catch Republic, and DIY are all looking to dethrone The Judgment Day. It’s like a game of king of the hill, but everyone’s bringing ladders.
Dragon Lee and Rey Mysterio vs. Santos Escobar and Dominik Mysterio? It’s a family affair with more twists than a soap opera. And speaking of family, Jey Uso vs. Jimmy Uso is like Thanksgiving dinner where the turkey’s not the only thing getting carved up.
Bianca Belair, Jade Cargill, and Naomi vs. Damage CTRL is a tag team tussle that’s sure to have more fireworks than the Fourth of July. And Sami Zayn vs. GUNTHER for the Intercontinental Championship? Strap in, because that’s gonna be a roller coaster.
Capping off Night 1, we’ve got Cody Rhodes and WWE World Heavyweight Champion Seth Rollins vs. Roman Reigns and The Rock. It’s like the final act of a Shakespeare play, only with more muscles and less iambic pentameter.
Night 2 is all about the heavyweight hitters, with Drew McIntyre and Rollins duking it out for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. And folks, The Pride vs. The Final Testament in a Philadelphia Street Fight? It’s gonna be messier than a Philly cheesesteak with extra Whiz.
LA Knight vs. AJ Styles, Randy Orton vs. Kevin Owens vs. Logan Paul for the WWE United States Championship, and Bayley vs. IYO SKY for the WWE Women’s Championship are all on the menu, making it a feast for the eyes.
But the cherry on top? Rhodes vs. Reigns for the WWE Undisputed Universal Championship. It’s the kind of showdown that could turn brothers into rivals and rivals into legends.
So there you have it, the WrestleMania 40 lineup, as mysterious and tantalizing as a locked treasure chest. But remember, in the world of wrestling, the only sure thing is that nothing’s sure. So tune in, because this weekend’s gonna be one for the history books.