In what can only be described as the billionaire’s version of cleaning out the attic, Vince McMahon has been on a selling spree that makes Black Friday look tame. Over a 20-day extravaganza, McMahon parted ways with 3.5 million TKO shares, raking in a cool $100 million—proving once again that one man’s stock is another (unnamed) bank’s treasure.

This latest financial plot twist was unveiled in the thrilling world of SEC filings, which dropped on Thursday faster than a wrestler’s elbow from the top rope.

But wait, there’s more to this saga. Since last November, McMahon has treated the stock market like his personal yard sale, offloading a whopping 30% of his WWE empire (that’s 8.4 million shares for those keeping score) to snag nearly $700 million. And just when you thought he was done, he dished out another 25% of his stockpile earlier this month for a mere $408 million.

All in, McMahon’s cashed in over $1.2 billion from these sales. Why the massive sell-off, you ask? Is he funding a secret space program? Building a real-life wrestling ring on the moon? The world may never know.

After all this, McMahon still sits on a dragon’s hoard of 11.5 million TKO shares, valued at nearly $1 billion, based on the latest market close. At 78 years young, the former WWE chairman and executive showrunner seems to be diversifying his portfolio, possibly preparing for a retirement filled with… more wrestling?

The plot thickened this past January when McMahon resigned amid accusations more scandalous than a wrestling storyline, leaving fans and finance gurus alike wondering, “What’s next for Vince?”

In the world of WWE, where the scripts are as unpredictable as a Florida weather forecast, McMahon’s financial maneuvers keep us all on the edge of our seats. Will he make a dramatic return? Launch a new venture? Or maybe, just maybe, he’s saving up for the ultimate smackdown—a battle royale on Mars.

Stay tuned, folks. In the Vince McMahon saga, the only thing you can expect is the unexpected.

By Joseph Gallery

I like ice cream, taking a back seat, wondering who I am, and pretending kayfabe is real. May or may not be the Real Dark Brandon. For the LOLZ. MALARKEY!

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