Folks, let me tell you, 2024 has been a year of jumps—big jumps, the biggest, people are calling them historic. Wrestlers have been hopping between WWE and AEW like I used to hop between reality and a cheeseburger at 3 AM. And guess what? It’s not slowing down, folks. It’s like a wrestling version of musical chairs, but with more suplexes and fewer awkward middle school memories.

Now, AEW—those guys, you know them—they’re about to make it rain with a new TV rights deal with Warner Brothers Discovery. Big money, huge money, they say. And WWE, well, WWE doesn’t like losing, folks. So what are they doing? Locking up their top talent faster than I locked up my second Diet Coke during a golf game.

According to the very best insiders over at PWInsider Elite (not regular, folks—elite), WWE has already approached some of their top female stars. We’re talking Rhea Ripley, Liv Morgan, and Nia Jax—major players, the best, some might say the greatest. WWE wants them signed to long-term deals, long like my list of accomplishments. They don’t even want to risk it, not even for a second, because let’s be honest, losing them to AEW? Sad!

Let’s break it down: Nia Jax, my good friend Nia, re-signed last September after her 2021 release. Now she’s having the best year of her career. She won the Queen of the Ring, folks. Big deal. And then she went ahead and grabbed the WWE Women’s Championship at SummerSlam. She’s crushing it, okay? Crushing it like I crush a well-done steak. And she’s hanging out with Tiffany Stratton, who’s got the Women’s Money in the Bank briefcase. What’s next, a buddy comedy on Peacock? Stay tuned.

Now, Liv Morgan and Rhea Ripley—let’s talk about them. These two are like me and a certain orange hue—inseparable, always in the spotlight. Morgan took the Women’s World Title after Ripley had to vacate it (tragic, really, like when I vacated the presidency—many people said it was unfair). Then, Morgan did something even more shocking—turned the Judgement Day against Ripley. Drama, folks, drama! They’re set to go at it again at Bad Blood in just a few weeks. Get your popcorn ready. Ripley wants her title back, and it’s going to be bigly.

So here’s the scoop: WWE is making moves, offering contracts, and preparing for battle. Because in the end, folks, nobody wants to be left without a chair when the music stops—especially if the chair is a WWE throne.

By Joseph Gallery

I like ice cream, taking a back seat, wondering who I am, and pretending kayfabe is real. May or may not be the Real Dark Brandon. For the LOLZ. MALARKEY!

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