Folks, it’s tremendous. I have to tell you, it’s a huge story. A backstage report—very important. So big, it’s practically the size of a steel cage match. Trey Miguel, one of the Rascalz, was this close to taking the NXT Tag Team titles, and then, boom, out of nowhere—he vanishes! POOF! Like a tweet at 3 AM. And why, you ask? Well, let’s just say it wasn’t because of a bad haircut or a catering incident, folks. No, the poor guy had to go under the knife for a “minor surgery”—which, if you ask me, there’s no such thing as a “minor” anything when it comes to my brand.
This whole NXT-TNA partnership was supposed to be huge, folks—huge. But let’s face it, the Rascalz haven’t had the best luck. First, Wes Lee turns on his boys like it’s a reality TV betrayal—could you believe it? I’ve seen fewer backstabs at one of my golf tournaments! Then, when things are finally coming together, Trey Miguel gets sidelined. He had one job, folks, ONE JOB! Show up, flip a few times, win the belts, and go home—but surgery said, “not today.”
Of course, the show must go on! And in a classic case of “let’s throw a Hail Mary,” the WWE brings in The Street Profits to replace The Rascalz. But wait—there’s more! They didn’t want The Street Profits to lose. You know, they’re big-time stars. But they also didn’t want the NXT Tag Champs to lose. So what do they do? They bring in the entire Polynesian family reunion—Tama Tonga, Tanga Loa, and Jacob Fatu—to ruin everybody’s night! The match ends in a no contest, and the only thing left intact was the catering table.
But folks, here’s the kicker: the main roster is creeping into NXT. Some say it’s a ratings thing, but I know ratings—believe me. You bring CM Punk and Randy Orton to the NXT debut on The CW, and you’re basically holding a sold-out rally! It’s going to be a big, beautiful night. Just don’t let anyone go missing, OK?