Well, folks, buckle up! AEW Dynamite opened like a soap opera on steroids, with Jon Moxley channeling his inner Shakespearean villain, and let’s just say, things got weird, fast. After his “nothing personal, but let me casually suffocate my friend with a plastic bag” moment at AEW All Out, Moxley decided it was time to “explain” his actions. And by “explain,” I mean give a masterclass in how to simultaneously make yourself the bad guy and somehow make everyone else feel guilty for it.
With his former Blackpool Combat Club buddy and AEW Champion Bryan Danielson on the receiving end of his betrayal, Moxley kicked off the show with a dramatic monologue straight out of an underworld audition. He somberly declared that Danielson didn’t have the “stomach for this,” which, coming from a guy who literally tried to choke him out, felt a bit on the nose, don’t you think?
According to Mox, their goal to build something “real” in AEW fell flat. He threw around phrases like “Mr. Patience” and “Mr. Empathy” like they were Danielson’s greatest character flaws. Because, obviously, who needs empathy when you can have a plastic bag handy? He went full medieval, declaring himself “the one true king of these lands” like he’d been binge-watching Game of Thrones all weekend. Moxley then proclaimed, “We tried your way, Bryan, diplomacy has failed. Today, I choose war.”
Insert Dramatic Thunder Here
Just when we thought things couldn’t get any more intense, PAC, the man who’s perpetually angry at the universe, jumped on the microphone to do what he does best: complain. PAC declared AEW “broken” and insisted the formation of this new heel stable was “inevitable,” which is just fancy wrestling code for “we’re tired of playing nice.” You know it’s serious when even PAC is suddenly a man with a purpose—this guy’s about to go full-on villainous philosopher.
Also MIA was Wheeler Yuta, who was last seen sobbing like a fanboy backstage while clinging to Danielson’s stretcher after the All Out debacle. You gotta wonder if Yuta’s tears were over Danielson, or the fact that his friends are basically starting a wrestling version of Mad Max and he didn’t get the invite.
The only question now is whether diplomacy really has failed, or if Moxley just misplaced the memo. One thing’s for sure: with Moxley’s declaration of war and his new band of merry misfits, Wednesday nights just got a whole lot messier.