Folks, buckle up because CM Punk and Drew McIntyre are about to finally settle their differences, and it’s going down in WWE’s most famous house of horrors—Hell in a Cell. Yes, that’s right, WWE’s upcoming Bad Blood event will play host to the tie-breaking third match in what has easily been the bloodiest, most violent feud this side of a barbed-wire-covered border wall.
McIntyre, let me tell you, came out on Monday with a laundry list of grievances longer than the line at the DMV. He wanted to move past Punk, thinking it was time for bigger, better things—namely, the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. But no, no sir, Adam Pearce wasn’t having any of that. After McIntyre’s September 2 assault on Punk that sent “The Best in the World” away in an ambulance, Pearce decided the bill had come due. And how do we settle things in WWE? Why, with the most peaceful, orderly stipulation possible—just kidding! They’re throwing these two titans inside the Hell in a Cell on October 5. It’s going to be big. Huge. Tremendous. Like a cage match, but bigger. You can’t escape, you can’t run—just like trying to avoid tax audits.
And get this—this isn’t just any match. This is their third showdown. It’s a rubber match, people! And it’s almost poetic: Punk, who infamously said he “[doesn’t] ever want to do Hell in a Cell” after his now-legendary Clash in the Castle press conference, is right back inside the devil’s playground. He said he didn’t want gimmick matches, but look who’s got front-row seats to the gimmick of all gimmicks? Punk’s had five of these matches under his belt—he knows the ropes, the cage, the chaos. McIntyre, with two Hell in a Cell matches on his resume, is a bit greener, but don’t count him out. This guy’s built like a brick house and swings a sword on the regular. The ring will need a hazmat crew when they’re done.
October 5, people. Mark your calendars, because there’s going to be more Bad Blood than a Twitter flame war.