Folks, let me tell you, MJF won his match at AEW All Out, but let’s be honest, it was like winning a pie-eating contest by stealing a single slice and calling it a victory. Who does that? “The Scumbag,” that’s who. In a match that started with bad blood and ended with worse sportsmanship, MJF resorted to a well-timed below-the-belt kick. Classy move, right? Classic MJF, always taking the scenic route to the moral low ground. With the referee conveniently staring off into the middle distance (as they often do), MJF rolled up Daniel Garcia and snagged the pin.

But wait, folks, the plot thickens. After the match, MJF, being the good sport he definitely isn’t, extended his hand in a fake show of respect. Only MJF could offer a handshake and still make you want to shower immediately after. Garcia, though, wasn’t born yesterday—or the day before. He saw through the phony handshake and responded the only appropriate way: by absolutely planting MJF with a top-rope piledriver, making sure “The Scumbag” got a taste of his own treachery. Revenge served hot off the top rope, my friends.

The Match: Brutality in Style

This match was like a Picasso painting, but instead of art, it was just punches, holds, and the occasional Panama Sunrise from MJF—who, by the way, still thinks he invented it. Garcia, sporting the iconic nickname “Red Death,” had flashes of brilliance, rolling up MJF for a near fall, but MJF decided to slow things down with submission after submission. At one point, Garcia found himself locked in every hold MJF could remember from wrestling school: Boston Crab, Sharpshooter, cross-face, armbar, you name it. It was like MJF got a discount on submission holds and wanted to use them all in one match. But Garcia? The guy doesn’t quit. He reached the ropes, powered out of it, and locked MJF in a guillotine like he was trying to squeeze every bad tweet out of the man.

When Garcia finally hit a piledriver for a near fall, the fans were ready to see “Red Death” get his win. Garcia went to the top rope to put the nail in the coffin, but MJF slipped out, setting up his devious finale.

So, MJF walked out with the win, but Garcia got the last laugh—and a little payback for July’s betrayal. And in wrestling, folks, we know revenge is just as sweet as a victory.

By Joseph Gallery

I like ice cream, taking a back seat, wondering who I am, and pretending kayfabe is real. May or may not be the Real Dark Brandon. For the LOLZ. MALARKEY!

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