Folks, when you hear “Chicago Street Fight,” you know you’re in for something wild, but this match between Kris Statlander and CMLL World Women’s Champion Willow Nightingale at AEW All Out was basically a furniture and hardware store’s worst nightmare. Broken tables, chains, thumbtacks—you name it, they threw it. It was like an extreme version of Home Depot, except with fewer discounts and more violence.
This whole feud kicked off after Nightingale and the ever-smiling destroyer of worlds Tomohiro Ishii defeated Statlander and Stokely Hathaway at AEW All In in London. Nightingale picked the street fight stipulation for their AEW All Out showdown, and let’s be honest, she wasn’t exactly interested in keeping things polite. No CMLL gold on the line either, which meant these two were just here to hurt each other, and hurt each other they did.
Statlander put Nightingale through the announce desk like she was trying to get a refund for bad commentary. She then introduced Nightingale to the barricades in a way that made the audience question whether steel is a soft material. But when Statlander tried to swanton bomb her way through Nightingale at ringside, Willow decided she wasn’t interested in becoming a pancake and moved—leaving Statlander to crash through the table in a moment that had chiropractors everywhere cheering for new business.
Then came the real party: Statlander and Hathaway, because why not, brought out a garbage can full of weapons. And, of course, Nightingale chose to go full “extreme makeover” by smashing a light tube on Statlander’s head and driving Hathaway away like he was a telemarketer interrupting her dinner. Naturally, things escalated when Statlander speared Nightingale off the stage into tables below. Destruction, my friends, but with style.
Back in the ring, they exchanged clotheslines, but that wasn’t nearly enough chaos. No, they needed thumbtacks and chains—the essentials for any hardcore match. Statlander went for a Scissors Kick and ended up doing an unintentional split into the tacks. Nightingale followed up with a Death Valley Driver into those tacks, but even then, Statlander kicked out like she was invincible.
And in what can only be described as a uniquely creative way to accessorize, Statlander introduced a dog collar, wrapping it around both of their wrists like it was the world’s most violent friendship bracelet. Nightingale tried to take control with a gut-buster near the tacks, but Statlander hit her with a Tombstone and proceeded to wrap the chain around Willow’s neck and face, choking her out. The referee had seen enough and called the match, declaring Statlander the winner in what will surely go down as a match that defines the word “chaos.”