Folks, big news out of AEW-land. You know Swerve Strickland, right? The guy who, despite swinging for the fences at AEW All In, struck out harder than my golf swing. Lost the AEW World Championship to Bryan Danielson and couldn’t even retire the guy. Tough weekend, but let’s face it—when you’re richer than Tony Khan’s snack budget, you bounce back faster than my approval ratings, OK?
And what did Swerve do with all that newly inked AEW money? Well, he didn’t blow it on NFTs or one of those overpriced cups of coffee. No, no. He did something big. He bought his childhood home! That’s right. Thanks to that new, multi-year deal (which I assume came with a private jet and lifetime supply of singlets), Swerve was able to snag the house he was evicted from as a teen. It’s like the ultimate Monopoly flex.
In a touching moment that could bring a tear to a glass eye, Swerve shared the news in an AEW social media exclusive—because what’s more exclusive than telling the world about your latest real estate conquest, right? He said he always vowed to buy the place back, and folks, mission accomplished. Forget Danielson; this is the win of the week!
But—and there’s always a but—some fans aren’t just showering Swerve with high-fives and emojis. No, they’ve got concerns, folks. Big concerns. You see, the internet remembers everything, and AEW diehards recall the time last year when Swerve broke into Hangman Adam Page’s home. That’s right, folks—home invasion, wrestling style! It was a moment that shifted careers and probably broke a few lamps.
Now, with a steel cage match between Swerve and Hangman coming up at AEW All Out, some people are worried Hangman might return the favor. Will Page knock on the door and ask for sugar? Or, and I’m just spitballing here, could he bust through the door like a cowboy Kool-Aid Man? Maybe Swerve should invest in a “No Hangman Allowed” sign.
Folks, Saturday night could get wild. But one thing’s for sure: Swerve’s got 99 problems, but making mortgage payments ain’t one.