Folks, we have some breaking news from the world of body slams and bad decisions! Bronson Reed, the human avalanche, has been on a tear recently, leaving a trail of flattened superstars in his wake. His latest pancake? None other than former WWE World Tag Team Champion, R-Truth. Reed, a man who seemingly took “mass destruction” as his New Year’s resolution, decided that one Tsunami wasn’t enough for Truth—no, this man hit him with a six-pack of Tsunamis, just because he can!
This monumental beatdown came right after R-Truth’s tag team partner, The Miz, was already served a cold dish of defeat by Reed on WWE Raw. And what did Reed have to say about his Monday night chaos? In true villain fashion, he brushed it off like a mild inconvenience, quipping it was “just another Monday.” You’ve got to admire a guy who can cause that much chaos and still treat it like a casual stroll to the grocery store.
But here’s the kicker, folks—Truth isn’t actually hurt. That’s right, those cracked ribs and internal bruising are just as real as my chances of winning the lottery! According to the Wrestling Observer Newsletter, Truth’s injuries are purely for storyline purposes. But to sell the beating Reed gave him, Truth will be out of action for a bit. One can only imagine the pep talk he gave himself: “It’s not real, it’s just a storyline… Ouch, but it felt real!”
Now, if you think this was a one-time deal, think again. Last week, Bronson Reed unleashed a similar fury on Seth Rollins, the self-proclaimed “Messiah” of WWE. Reed didn’t hold back, delivering a half-dozen Tsunamis, a Death Valley Driver, and a couple of sentons for good measure. Unlike Truth, Rollins’ backstage bruising wasn’t just for show—he’s actually nursing a chronic injury. Reed must have a secret vendetta against ribs because the man is on a rib-cracking spree.
In other news, R-Truth, who apparently thought joining the Judgment Day would be a walk in the park, had to eat a slice of humble pie when his reunion with The Miz as The Awesome Truth didn’t quite go as planned. Sure, they nabbed the WWE World Tag Team Championships on the road to WrestleMania 40, but they didn’t hold onto those shiny belts for long. Judgment Day’s Finn Balor and JD McDonagh swooped in and snatched them away in June.
So, while R-Truth recovers from his definitely-not-real injuries, we can all send our thoughts and prayers—not to his body, but to his bruised ego. And as for Bronson Reed? Somebody needs to remind him that Mondays are for mild annoyances, not six-count Tsunami beatdowns!