Folks, let me tell you, wrestling history was made on AEW Dynamite Wednesday night. Kris Statlander, the woman with more muscles than a seafood restaurant, pulled off a victory in an Eliminator match against none other than CMLL World Women’s Champion Willow Nightingale. And guess what? She didn’t just win; she practically bulldozed her way to a title match with the subtlety of a sledgehammer. Tremendous.
It was a classic case of former friends turning into frenemies, as Statlander and Nightingale went toe-to-toe in a match that was tighter than my grip on a golf club during a crucial putt. The action was back and forth, and Statlander looked like she was going to need more than her usual alien powers to seal the deal. Then, in a moment straight out of a spy thriller, Stokley Hathaway handed her a steel chain, like a scene out of a wrestling version of “Mission Impossible.”
With Hathaway distracting the referee, Statlander wrapped that chain around her fist and delivered a knockout punch that would make Rocky Balboa proud. Nightingale, already running on fumes, hit the mat faster than you can say “covfefe.” The referee, none the wiser, counted the pin, and just like that, Statlander earned her golden ticket to a title match.
But hold onto your wrestling tights, folks. The chaos didn’t stop there. Statlander, clearly not satisfied with just a win, decided to channel her inner demolition crew and grabbed a chair, courtesy of Hathaway. She went to town on Nightingale, turning the ring into a scene from a furniture store clearance sale. Security rushed in, but Statlander was having none of it, sending them flying like bowling pins.
As of now, the date for this blockbuster championship showdown remains a mystery. Willow Nightingale, who snagged the CMLL World Women’s Championship in a triple threat match at CMLL Fantastica Mania 2024, has been holding onto that title like a kid with a new toy. But Statlander, with her newfound taste for hardware-assisted victories, might just pry it from her grasp.
Stay tuned, wrestling fans. This is one title match you won’t want to miss. Believe me.