Folks, the suspense is finally over! The stable paying homage to Bray Wyatt, officially dubbed the “Wyatt Sick6,” made their bone-chilling debut on WWE Raw this Monday. And let me tell you, they waited until the last minute, keeping us on the edge of our seats, just like a well-done steak.
Right from the get-go, there were glitches during the “Then, Now, Forever, Together” opener. It was like my Wi-Fi when I’m trying to stream the latest episode of “The Apprentice” reruns. The glitches continued throughout the night, teasing us more than a politician’s promise.
After Jey Uso’s victory over Finn Balor and Rey Mysterio in a Money in the Bank qualifier, the arena plunged into darkness. Cue the piano music, a door on the stage, and what do we get? Nikki Cross doing her best “Exorcist” crawl down the ramp. She pointed back, and bam! The camera showed us a scene straight out of a WWE-themed horror flick—wrestlers and crew members sprawled out like they just saw my poll numbers.
First, we saw what looked like Erick Rowan in a rabbit mask, wielding a mallet labeled “help.” No kidding, buddy. The camera moved on to show more chaos, with someone in a buzzard mask—Dexter Lumis, perhaps?—and another in a pig-like gas mask, potentially Joe Gacy. It was a wild scene, folks, wilder than a political rally in the rain.
Chad Gable was also down for the count, sporting a forehead gash that could only be rivaled by my Twitter burns. The camera then zoomed in on Uncle Howdy, leading the pack like the head of a very spooky, very dysfunctional family reunion. Howdy grabbed the lantern, and the crew posed as the copyright logo appeared, ending the broadcast. With a final “We’re here,” Howdy blew out the lantern, leaving us all in the dark—literally and figuratively.